In Their Shoes- The Journey from Renter to Homeowner: A Spritual Journey- James

This is the first interview I conducted with James.  His energy and drive is absolutely inspiring, and I really look forward to talking to him and interviewing him throughout his homebuying experience.  -Andriana Bicanin

James is an eager new participant in the New Century program.  He comes into the program after years of struggling with homelessness and substance abuse.  He is now nearly five years sober, and wants to share his story with those who may feel like they have gone through too much or have experienced defeat.  When I sat down with James the feeling and emotion that kept repeating itself was that of surrounding yourself with positive people, how your life can be transformed if you allow it to, and to set goals and believe in yourself.  That first steps are setting out to make the change and seeking out the right services.  James decided to take that step and sought outside support.   He came from “a fairly decent family background, a military background” he stated, and ran into some problems and issues for which he sought help from social services to overcome.  Social services led him to ESR (Experiment in Self Reliance); which helped him through his rough patch, and recommended that he apply for the New Century IDA program.

He had at one time really wanted a house but resigned himself to renting for the rest of his life; with this loss of hope for owning his own home came a feeling that something was missing in his life.  The hardest thing for James was the fact that he was, “One of those people who were [sic] supposed to make it.  I was one of those people that had all the resources and had all the tools and had the education and I ended up on the street.”  James grew up in a home that his parents owned and feels an added pressure from himself because of that.  He mentions remarks from his family such as, “Are you ever going to get a place?”  He comes from a family of “Stoic men who had their little piece” and although this added pressure throughout the years, he needed to get to the point where he wanted to buy a house and where he was ready to take that step towards owning a home.  He found that time when he came to ESR.

James was very ignorant to what his availabilities were but the folks at ESR and CHO (Center for HomeOwnership) “Knew what they were doing and what questions to ask” him.  When he came in and spoke with the folks at ESR and found out that this was something that was attainable he was overcome with joy, cried, and said, “Praise God.”  He “didn’t know how to feel” because he felt like “it was a long time since anyone cared, that anyone really wanted for me to succeed.”  He watched (New Century IDA program director) Barbara’s video about her experience going through the program and buying a home, and was able to relate.

He firmly believes that no matter what you have gone through and what your struggles are, “If you take care of yourself, get with the right people, you can clean up if you just try.  This program helps with that.  If financial defeat, this program can help; if recovering from anything, this program can help; family decimation or dissolvement, whatever is negative holding you back , this program can help.  It’s not just economic it’s spiritual, emotional, psychological- everything.”  Most of the support that he experiences is through ESR.  The enthusiasm and support from the people at ESR is unwavering and is keeping him excited.  The communication and support are always there and the positivity is contagious.  He loves that even with delays there is support and follow through.

 James keeps his fear of going back to the dark moments in life as motivators for success.  He has no “grandiose” ideas of a huge house and yard, he knows he does not have to be a “hero”- he wants to make the most of this program and only move forward.  So long as he sets goals, stays focused, and stays in prayer, he knows he cannot fail.  His fears include that of becoming complacent and frustrated.  He also does not want fear of success to stand in his way; but, talking to people at ESR and CHO made him realize that he doesn’t have to fail, what he needs to do is work and keep focused.  He has decided to put his demons in the closet and move on and not give up on the dream or goal.  He feels that there is something spiritual going on with this program and it’s helping people like him.  He is very much looking forward to having security again.  He feels that having his own home makes him feel like a man and he wants to be his own man again.

            He is currently renting a home which he hopes to buy (through the program).  When I asked him if he had any plans for when he buys a house his mood lifted and I saw the possibilities flash through his eyes.  He shifts in his seat and throws out various possibilities for his future, some of those were the idea of having someone to share his home with, maybe getting a couple more animals, or he may join big brother/big sister.  He likes to sing and may bring people for karaoke- the options are endless.  He hasn’t thought too far ahead in what he would like to do once he buys the home, but the one thing he knows for sure is that he wants to create a home like his grandmother’s home.  He wants to create a place where no matter where in the entire world he is, he can think of that couch in the living room and know that he is home.  James also wants anyone who wants to visit to know that he has a door open and they are welcome.  James smiles and laughs at the fact that he realized he loves to cut grass.  He has to cut the grass at the house he currently rents, and feels that if he is going to mow a lawn it may as well be his own.

As a parting question I asked James what he wants to get out of the program, and he said he wants to gain discipline.  He wants to learn how to budget and how to make informed purchases.  He would also like the ability to pass on the knowledge he gains through this program to someone else.  He defines the New Century program as,  “People helping people to learn how to help people.”  He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, and with tears welling up in his eyes he tells me, “I don’t ever have to be ashamed again of who I am or of what I’ve done wrong.  This program along with the other things I have experienced the last four or five years is going to help me have that confidence back and not be ashamed, and say hey this is me, that I’m okay.” He says that it is “time to man up, make goals, and get through this.”

            I asked James if he had anything he wanted to say to those who may be reading this, and what he wants people to know, “Don’t let anyone tell you no.  No cannot be a part of your vocab.  Don’t let anyone else determine your dreams…Just do it, not because of anyone else, but because of you.”